The Frozen Chosen Is Blessed

I have the best Man On The Street adventures. Like "somebody should make a children's book about them" adventures.

I'm going to make a few points about my latest shenanigans on my bi-weekly escapade known as Man On The Street and let the text then speak for itself.

1. This text is only about 1/3 of my conversation with the three women.
2. I said absolutely nothing throughout the entire text (I only nodded my head).
3. Prior to this text, I was told I was a "frozen chosen" because of my Presbyterian background.
4. Woman #1 hugged me. I don't like being touched.
5. In no way am I religious.
6. I've never wanted to laugh in somebody's face more and had to hold it back for a painstaking five minutes.
7. The text doesn't do the rapidity of the speech justice. Imagine this as constant communication without a single second of pause.
8. I'm going to hell.

And with that, the text of my Man On The Street Encounter (coming to a bookstore near you):

Woman #1: You've got a dangerous job. That's why you've got to cling on to faith and cling on to God. When you wake up, you should start thanking him for another beautiful day and for pointing your feet in the right direction on what he wants you to go get. More than likely, it's the Word and something he wants you to do for God's people because there's children in the dark that don't know him and don't know he's there for them, you understand? There's just in the dark feeding off the devil and they need to be feeding off God's word and you've got it, you're carrying it. He picked you for a reason (rounds of 'Oh yes he did'), a handsome young man.

Woman #2: He's like, 'Oh my goodness,' he doesn't know what he's gotten into. He was just asking some people about the park.

Woman #3: But it was a divine appointment. God loves you and you have lots of power in that pen.

Woman #1: As soon as you're able to get to the Bible, just ask God to show you what he wants from you.

Woman #3: Yeah, just let the Holy Spirit guide you. God must rule.

Woman #1: Ask God what he wants from you. He'll give you the Holy Ghost to lead you in the right direction, the safe direction. I reckon he'll keep harms out your way.

Woman #3: He'll keep you from wolves in sheep's clothing.

Woman #1: Seek him first. Ask him for his armor. Say a prayer and just thank him for getting you home. Once you get a hold of God, he'll give you more wisdom than any schooling. He will and he'll show you how to work that schooling. You'll pass like that. But you've got to hang in there. He ain't lost. A lot of people are like, 'I found God, I found God,' but no you didn't. He was never lost. He chose you. He chose you to do that. You're going to be successful.

Woman #2: There's going to be some trials and tribulations.

Woman #1: Like I said, there's going to be some dangerous times but you're going to have the angels with you. God got you. God got you as long as you get him in the morning and get him right there at night. Thank you God for another day. He'll get you. You going to be all right. You going to be very successful.

Woman #3: "He all like, 'Hey I came over here.'

(Cackles)

Woman #1: Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid because God got you. He a good God. You great now and you recording his word, you write down his word. You meet people of different nationalities and that's what God wants, that bouquet of colors and nationalities together on that paper.

Woman #3: Truth in print is so desperately needed and that's where your courage is needed, to stand by the truth.

Woman #1: I don't know where you at with God. Only you know. Just ask him to show you where he wants you at. You've got to get him first. Pray first. Get it first and he'll show you where to go in the Bible and you'll go right there. It will tell you right where to go. Always have time for the Bible.

Woman #3: They take you places in the Bible that you never hear about in church.

Woman #1: Whatever kind of relationship, I don't care how hard or how down you like, 'Oh God why me. Help me and pull me out of this God,' always pray for him.

(Flying pine cone nearly hits me)

Woman #3: What did you just throw Michael? So let's just pray for Jacob and send him on his way. We ask you to bless us and rest upon Jacob as his name speaks volumes. We ask that you bless his hand as he writes in journalism and we ask that you give him favor Father as you guide his path.

Woman #1: There's an angel with him God

Woman #3: To protect him in all the things he does.

Woman #1: Bless and protect him God with the blood over his life and his journalism and the name of people and his family. Thank you God.

Woman #3: And his future family. Guide them. And so shall it be.

(Undecipherable whoopings and praises to God)

Woman three: You just got a blessing and you got no idea.

I really had no idea.